This is not a post I ever thought I’d write. In fact if you told me four weeks ago that this would be the first post I’d write after the Newbie was born I would have laughed heartily. But a lot can happen in a few weeks and for me that, sadly, means the end of my marriage in the most sudden and cruellest way I could imagine.
I’m not going to go into the whos, the wheres and the whys because this isn’t their story it’s mine. Needless to say it wasn’t my choice to be facing parenthood alone but I do get to choose how I move on from here and I intend to do that as I’ve always tried to live my life – with humour, optimism and dignity. As Michelle Obama said – “when they go low, we go high”.
I can’t pretend it is or will be easy though. Not only am I navigating a life I never thought I or my two beautiful children would have but I’m doing it with a great well of sadness deep inside that I can’t believe will ever go away. But those who still love me tell me it will. In time. And I choose to believe them because I can’t let that sadness become me or change who I am. For my sake or for my children – they deserve laughter and joy and happiness and so do I.
So sorry this wasn’t my usual irreverent, lighthearted post but I thought I owed it to you (yes all 8 of you) and myself to be honest about my life right now. To quote another fabulous woman – Meera Syal – “life isn’t all ha ha hee hee”. Unfortunately.
Finally, I’d like to say that if anything good has come out of this it’s that I’ve realised how many true friends I have both round the corner and across the internet. I couldn’t have got through this without their kind words, company and chocolate. Mums really are awesome and a force to be reckoned with. I hope they never need this favour repaid but if they do I’ll be at the front of the queue.
Until next time.