I was given a set of Alternative Baby Milestone Cards for the purpose of this review but all opinions are my own.
Remember when your child took their first step you thought “I’m never going to forget this moment”. Then two years later someone asks you how old your little cherub was when they said their first word and you have absolutely no idea because they haven’t shut up since and did you know you can die from lack of sleep? Anyway lots of clever people realised that parenting basically renders you incapable of remembering anything apart from the theme tune to My Pet And Me (which will haunt you until the day you die) and created lots of lovely milestone cards so you could photograph and keep note of all those important milestones.
The thing is though parenting isn’t all first smiles and birthday celebrations; in fact quite a lot of it is poonamis and public tantrums. If we really want to remember parenting in all it’s glory (if only to stop us, in twenty years time, telling new mums to ‘make the most of it’ and ‘cherish every moment’ like dicks) then shouldn’t we take note of the less Insta-worthy parts? Well that’s where Alternative Baby Milestone Cards come in.
Alternative Milestones was set up by a couple of mums (including an old school friend and fellow Magaluf Crew alumni, oh the stories she could tell) and these cards celebrate the “not so perfect but hilarious side of parenting”. Not unlike this little blog of mine, which is probably why I love these cards. Each pack of Alternative Baby Milestone Cards contains twenty cards recognising moments like:
- Today I was a complete arsehole (also useful for your significant other – I jest, I jest)
- Today I haven’t slept for five nights
- Today I peed on Mum
- Today I did my first floater
On the back of each card is space to write the story behind the milestone so you can be sure to embarrass your offspring when they bring their first girl/boyfriend home, turn 18, get married or just annoy the hell out of you when they’re older. Revenge is sweet. There’s also a couple of blank cards in each pack if you want to mark your own milestones you won’t find in the parenting books.
The cards are really nicely designed and good quality so would make a fab present for a parent-to-be or new parent who doesn’t want to take parenting too seriously (and even if they do they’ll get shat on anyway so #karma). The Alternative Baby Milestone Cards are available to buy from Alternative Milestones’ website for £15.99 per pack. What are you waiting for?
You can also follow Alternative Milestones on Instagram and Facebook where you can share your Alternative Baby Milestone Card pictures, enjoy some awesome parenting memes and generally feel reassured that all parents gets judged by Netflix for watching too many episodes of Paw Patrol.