How To Parent When You’re Heavily Pregnant (Or Can’t Be Bothered)

So I might have mentioned once or twice that I am heavy of womb at the moment. At this stage of my pregnancy with the Child I pretty much just lolled (as in to sit around in a lazy fashion not laughing out loud) about on the couch complaining. This time round though I’ve got an energetic 3 year old to entertain so whilst I’m still managing a high level of complaining the lolling (in both senses of the word) is minimal. So over the last few weeks I’ve developed quite a repertoire of ways to entertain the little darlings and maintain the level of lethargy required when there is an actual human about to push their way out of your flower.

 

1 Lying Down Games

I’ve discovered that a lot of games can be played from a mainly vertical position on the sofa – Drs and nurses (as long as you’re the patient), hide and seek (“Why do you always hide under the duvet mummy?”) and the classic sleeping lions. But my absolute favourite is one I stumbled upon a couple of weeks ago when the Child wanted to play princesses. Which princess did I choose? Why, Sleeping Beauty of course so I had no choice but to lie in a deep deep sleep. I even managed to convince the Child to be Cinderella to get her to do a bit of mopping for me.

 

2 Wardrobe Open House

It appears there is nothing more exciting to a pre-schooler than letting them loose in your wardrobe. If you want to eek out even more fun time then why not open up your make-up bag too, although the results might be a little interesting…

 

3 Get Outside

Everyone needs a dose of vitamin D now and then so if you can face a waddle to the park then do it. I’ve noticed the Child is significantly less annoying when I’m sat on a park bench at the opposite end of the park to where she is trying to climb up a fireman’s pole (not a euphemism – I’m not that bad a parent) and befriending teenagers. If you’re lucky you can get a good couple of hours of staring into space wondering how this became the highlight of your day before you need to stop your kid trying to join another family’s picnic.

Haven’t had much of an Instagram worthy weekend as I’ve been a right mardy arse. Basically I’m too hot and pregnant to function at the moment. Anyway today the Husband has taken the Child out into #liverpool for the morning so I could rest. I’m a little gutted I can’t join them (well I could but my moaning would ruin it) but it looks like they’re having fun without me. Probably should have packed some spare clothes though. #fountains #waterplay #liverpoolone #toddlersofinstagram #worldoflittles #fiercelittleones #mydarlingmemories #pbloggeruk #mummyshot #toddlersofig #kids #lionessmama #littlegirl #northwestbloggers #mydarlingdaughter #cherishthesedays #happylittlebuttons #toddlercool #stayclassymama #daddydaughter #daddyshot

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4 Cinema Afternoon

Well after all that fresh air it only seems right that you should enjoy some nice, quality quiet time. Whether you go to the actual cinema or just stick a film on this is your prime opportunity for a sneaky nap. I’ve also found putting a film on feels less like lazy parenting then watching 16 episodes of Paw Patrol. You’re also less likely to lose your mind and you won’t get one of those sarky Netflix ‘are you still watching Paw Patrol’ comments. Well yes I am actually Netflix. Jeez everyone’s a fucking critic.

 

5 Use Help

Family, friends, neighbours, that man who works at the corner shop…

 

6 Soft Play

If you’re lucky enough to have a child that is happy to run off and play then soft play really is your heavily pregnant utopia. It wears your kid out with minimal input from you and you’ll have ready access to fried food. It’s what your, slightly sad if you really think about, dreams are made of.

 

7 Eat Out

If your budget can’t stretch to the lunch at a cafe highlife or you’re not one for buying you kids the above mentioned fried food (but let’s be honest if that second point is true this blog probably isn’t for you) then a picnic works just as well. There’s minimal clearing up and it’s not at all frowned upon for your child to eat a cheese sandwich whilst running round in circles pretending to be a dog.

 

8 Story Time

Nothing says wholesome family time like snuggling up in bed and reading stories. Plus you’re snuggled up in bed, which is level with eating fried food on my preggo activity wishlist.

 

9 Bath Time 

It turns out that the often hated activity that signals the start of bedtime is actually really exciting in the middle of the day. Load with bubbles and dollies and the job’s s good’un for at least an hour.

 

10 Pay Someone Else

And if all else fails pay a professional to take them off your hands for a few hours, days, weeks, years…

 

If you’ve enjoyed my not at all award-winning photos in this post then why not give me a cheeky follow on Instagram.

 

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