WARNING – this post contains sentimental twaddle.
As my due date draws near and my pregnancy gets closer to it’s ouchy finale I’m starting to realise that the days I spend just me and the Child are also drawing to an end. For the last three years Monday has been Mummy and I– day, sometimes they’re ridiculously fun, sometimes unbelievably dull and nearly always excruciatingly long but they’re ours. In fact I can probably count on one hand the number of Mondays we haven’t spent just the two of us but soon they will be no more as another little dude joins the Monday crew. Obviously I’m
terrified excited about Bubba T2 joining the mix but my heart is a little sad that this period with the Child is drawing to a close; these Mondays taught me how to be a mum and I’ll always be grateful that the Child was there to show me the way.
Anyway to mark the end of Mummy and I– day I’ve put together a list of ten songs that will always make me think of us, say better than I ever could what I want to say and help her remember that her Mum has always got her back. I’m not much of a muso (my first concert was Steps which tells you all you need to know about my muscial taste) but sometimes a song just makes me stop, take a breath and smile. These are those songs; songs for my daughter.
Your Song, Elton John
I used to sing this song to you every morning in the shower when I was pregnant and it always used to make you kick like mad. I remember the night after you were born when we were all alone in the hospital, you looked at me and I was so relieved that you were here and you were mine. I hope you never forget how “wonderful life is while you’re in the world”.
Morning Morgantown, Joni Mitchell
I’ve always loved this song, it reminds me of sitting with your Uncle in the conservatory over the long summer holidays. I listened to it when you were a few days old and some of the lyrics really stood out:
A wooden bird with painted wings
A window full of colored rings
In morning, Morgantown
To make you smile, to win you with
Are all the mornings still to live
In morning, Morgantown
I wish it wasn’t true but sometimes life will be a bit shit. Sometimes you’ll feel lost, beaten and afraid. But remember, when it feels hopeless that I’ll be here for you. Always.
Shake It Off, Taylor Swift
Well no list of your songs would be complete without this one. It may be a silly pop song but I hope you’ll always stay true to that little girl twirling around in a princess dress and Dr Marten boots just getting down to ‘this sick beat’
Uptown Funk, Mark Ronson FT Bruno Mars
Forgive me when I’m old and senile and still chuckling at the memory of a toddler who, every time she was told something was hot, would respond “hot damn”.
The Suburbs, Arcade Fire
This is my love hate song because for the first year of your life it was the one thing that was guaranteed to get you to sleep. Your Dad and I played it until we thought we’d lose our minds. But there is something perfect about these lyrics:
So can you understand?
Why I want a daughter while I’m still young
I wanna hold her hand
And show her some beauty
Before all this damage is done
Wild World, Cat Stevens
I’m not even sure if this song is appropriate on a list about my daughter (a bit like when people have I’ll be Watching You as their wedding song and it’s like ‘hello this isn’t romance, it’s stalking’) but what the hell. When you were 2, Nana asked you if wanted to live with Mummy forever and you answered with a very definite ‘no’. It was then that I knew you’d never be a home bird and I’m glad. I want you to see more of the world than I have, have bigger adventures, love harder, laugh longer. But I’m also scared because like Cat Stevens says “I’ve seen a lot of what the world can do, and it’s breaking my heart in two ’cause I never want to see you sad girl”. So just be careful out there.
She’s Always a Woman To Me, Billy Joel
I can already see the glimmers of the woman you’ll become – I see it when you tell teenage boys off for swearing and they listen, I see it when you calmly take your revenge on the child that pushed you over at soft play and I see it when you declare every new person you meet your best friend even when you forget to ask their name. Yet so many times people only see your confidence and sass and they miss your sensitive soul. It’s those times that you remind me so much of myself and it makes my heart ache because I know that soul will get bruised without others noticing. But that is what will make you the woman I’ve always known you’ll become.
F**k You, Lily Allen
So obviously I’ve not played you this song yet (because I know you’d repeat it at the most embarrassing time) but one day, when you inevitably come home distraught because someone has been mean to you, I’ll play you this song. There are probably people who’ve said it more eloquently than this but sometimes when someone is being horrible all you can say is ‘f**k you’ and move on.
Still I Rise, Maya Angelou
Clearly this isn’t a song but I didn’t think Chumbawamba’s Tubthumping struck the right tone. I hope this poem will always remind you that whatever happens you will always rise again (not like Jesus though).
So there we have it – my list of songs to pass on to my eldest. What songs would make your list?