It’s that time of the blog again where I’ve run out of witty and ever so clever post ideas so fall back on telling you a little bit about me. You lucky lot. This time I’ve been nominated by Sam at Mouse, Moo & Me Too to tell you ten (handy) little known facts about yours truly. So here goes. Are you sitting comfortably?
1. My deepest, longest held ambition is to be a children’s tv presenter. Preferably Blue Peter but I’d take any old gig (Mrs Bloom maybe?). When I used to cook with my mum as a kid, I’d make her join me in narrating what we were doing like in BP. In fact, I still do this now. If only there’d been You Tube back then, I could have been one of these kid vlogging superstars.
2. Just to keep with the theme, I actually got a Blue Peter badge for sending in a lovely letter about a clipboard they made on a show. Unfortunately it got stolen out of my purse when I was a teenager. I kid you not, I got pick-pocketed and we found the purse a couple of hundred yards down the street – all they stole was a fiver in change and my badge. That mean’s there’s some scumbag getting into a Sea Life Centre off the back of my penmanship. Fuckers.
3. Now to completely change the subject, I have a very short tongue. It’s true. But it’s never held me back (winking smilie).
4. A few years back I did a tandem skydive for charity and nearly vomited on the
instructor. Turns out they carry sick bags. I didn’t need it in the end but I did need him to reassure me multiple times that the parachute had worked and I was still alive.
5. In my short life (ahem) I’ve lived in 13 different houses in each corner of the country as well as that middle bit. I hate it when people ask me where I’m from because I don’t really know how to answer. In a few months I will have lived in Liverpool the longest I’ve lived anywhere but I don’t think I’d get away with saying I’m a scouser.
6. I used to be a teacher. A fucking shite one so I quit 6 months into my qualifying year.
7. I’m pretty sure I was almost kidnapped as a five year old on holiday in the Gambia. My parents lost me in a market for about twenty minutes (sloppy). When they found me I was in a tent full of local women who had redressed me in traditional
clothing. It was only when I retold the story a few years ago that I realised what was probably going on. At the time I was just chuffed I got new clothes (blue tie-die if you’re wondering).
8. I cannot brush crumbs off the table onto my hands. It makes me gag. In fact, just writing this is making me dry heave a little.
9. I cannot say the name Jeremy. It comes out Je-ra-many. I hope I never meet Paxman. Or Kyle (probs more likely).
10. I’m going to end on a shocking confession – I don’t like Strictly Come Dancing. I just don’t get it. I’ve tried to like it, I’ve really tried but I find it boring. I know, I’m a monster.
So there I am, warts and all (ooh I do actually have a wart fact but I’ll save that for another day). I’m nominating Faith from Raising Moonbows and anyone else that fancies a go. Just remember to name check me and tag some other people.