A few weekends ago we went to stay with my Mum and Dad. It was lovely not to have to worry about cooking, cleaning or washing for a little while. It also meant I got to spend some quality time with my one true love, Ryan Gosling, with a rare child-free trip to the cinema. It’s also funny how you forget the little quirks that make your parents your parents – those little rules that make perfect sense to your family but are complete nonsense to everyone else because they are actually nonsense. My Mum has loads of them so I’ve decided to compile her top ten rules for living as well as a few favourites from my fellow bloggers.
Food and Drink
- Soup is food and a liquid and therefore no drink is needed to accompany it or you will be guilty of gluttony
- Only two chocolates or biscuits is permitted to be consumed in one sitting or you will be guilty of gluttony
- Butter, pudding and wine are only bad for you during the week. At the weekend there is no gluttony (except when disregarding points 1 and 2)
4. Black worn with navy blue or brown is not suitable attire
5. Anklets and bra straps on show are not suitable attire
6. Wearing a coat shorter than your skirt or dress is not suitable attire
7. Head scarves and sunglasses are always suitable attire for when you want to feel like a film star
8. No contact will not be made whilst on holiday. If you do not get in touch within three days of your expected return you will be presumed dead.
9. If you don’t turn the porch light off when you come home late at night you will be presumed dead
10. You must not telephone after 9pm unless in an absolute emergency. If you do someone will be presumed dead.
Do any of these sound familiar or does your Mum have a few gems of her own?