If you were anywhere near me on social media over the weekend you’ll have noticed I went to Blogfest 2016 – a Mumsnet hosted conference dedicated to blogging. I was definitely a little fish in a big pond but luckily some Giant Koi Carps kept me company (this is a weird metaphor – apologies). It was a long, exhausting but thought-provoking day surrounded by some of my favourite writers (see above fish metaphor) and ending with free booze (possibly the reason for above fish metaphor). I did kind of hope I would come out with some definite things to do to make this blog and my writing better (perhaps given in a list of ten, I hear they’re awesome)but I didn’t. I did however learn some things, so without further ado (or fish) here are the ten things I learnt at Blogfest 2016.
1.No bloggers were truckers called Dave. It turns out if you tell your Mum you’re going to London to hang out with some strangers you met on the internet and share a flat with a few of them, she worries. Mainly that they’ve created an elaborate (VERY elaborate) online persona in order to sex traffic you out of the country. Why someone would want to sex traffic a 30-something mum with a wobbly tummy and a heightened sarcasm gland I don’t know. But Mums will worry.
2.If you try and get two different lunch options on the same plate the woman serving the noodles will look at you like she wants to stab you.
3. Davina McCall will almost make you cry. I can’t remember why exactly but she will.
4. Frances Taylor of Whinge Whinge Wine is the shit (and Best Comic Writer). Although I did know that anyway.
5. You can make your ticket cost back in sweets.
6. You’ll probably forget to take any decent photos, except of yourself.
7. Sometimes you have to pick up your AirBnB key off a random in an off-licence. Sometimes it takes you twenty minutes to open the front door because of all the bloody keys. And sometimes there is not even a TV (I mean seriously WTF).
8. Certain goody bag contributors are less generous than others *cough* Aveeno *cough*.
9. Ed Balls definitely shaves his chest.
10. A cheap bowl of spag bol is the perfect antidote to free Prosecco and cocktails. Sitting next to four men talking about golf on the train home is not. Although, to be fair they did offer me a mint which was nice but silence would have been nicer. Much much nicer.